First half elegance.
A return to the Christmas Carol.

First half featuring small groups and an Andy Williams Christmas Special vibe.

Grandpa recalls the "tragic, mournful tale so often sung." Grandma...on the cold ground...hoofprints on her forehead...Claus marks on her back! Sad...so sad!

 

Suspect lineup. Which one ran down poor grandma? Uncle Sam? The Pilgrim or Indian from Thanksgiving? The Easter Bunny?

The guy in the red suit and beard? The Halloween Witch with the nasty attitude?

"Number 4! It's Number 4," cries Grandpa, as he relives the trauma of seeing his beautiful wife knocked to the ground by a childhood icon!

Shirley Schmidt, prosecuting attorney, vows to prove beyond any shadow of a doubt that Santa mowed down poor grandma in cold blood!

 

What is Santa's motive? Well, Grandma had started a women's support group protesting overeating at Christmastime! The Christmastime Overeaters Women's Society. (They don't like to be called COWS.) But, that's just Un-Christmas-like! Santa had to do something about it.

The Grinch is a difficult one to swear in...he never commits to telling the truth. "If you say so." Hmm...could he be creating a legal loophole??

 

The prosecution's star witness, The Grinch, testifies that he saw Santa run down poor grandma in the street! That's enough to make the case. "The prosecution rests, Your Honor!"

 

Mrs. Claus, whose qualifications as legal counsel include the ability to bake 400 cookies an hour, comes to the defense of her husband in his time of need!

"She's always movin', always groovin', she knows where it's at!"

 

"Let's hear it for Mrs. Claus!"

Elves can always been found when Santa and Mrs. C are around!

 

Blitzen is called to testify and tells about the stag party he was attending with Santa on Christmas Eve. But, there's a problem when the bailiff asks him to raise his right hand. "I ain't got no hands!" (Who knew Blitzen hails from Brooklyn?!)

Santa and his reindeer help Mr. Griswald (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) decorate his house on Christmas Eve. Why would Mr. Griswald need the help of eight tiny reindeer and a jolly old elf to put up a few decorations? "Have you seen his house?!?"

 

The Bickersomes are called to testify about witnessing Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. They cause a stir wherever they go!

The Bickersome Sisters...had dates?!? All on the same night?!? We're sure they were blind dates and they look a little...well...terrified!

Cindy Lou Who testifies that The Grinch is up to his old tricks again.

 

Cindy Lou Who says that The Grinch even tried to poison everyone's favorite fruitcake, but Santa's elf is all over that! Foiled!

 

Cindy also testifies that The Grinch was teaching the Whoville Choir an awful Christmas Song, "The Twelve Pains Of Christmas."
(The one on the left looks a little queasy.)

The Grinch is recalled to the stand by defense attorney Mrs. Claus. "I refuse to testify! I plead a fifth...I mean THE Fifth!" But, Mrs. C finally gets him to admit to running over poor, poor Grandma.

 

Cindy is saddened by The Grinch's loss of the Christmas spirit and needs consolation. "Where are you Christmas?"

Then, out of nowhere, it's Grandma! But, how?!?

Santa explains that the trial was just a ruse devised by Grandpa, Grandma, and him to bring the spirit of Christmas back into The Grinch's heart!

 

The Grinch is feeling all warm and crowded in his chest. The spirit of Christmas has returned to him and his heart has grown 15 sizes!

Merry Christmas, everyone!